Relaunch: a meandering tale about my hiatus and re-entry into the blogosphere (do people still call it that? no? noted.)

And I’m back. 

Nothing says fresh to death like a Fergie video from 2009 right? All my new content is going to be so fresh you’re going to be thinking, “Wow. Thought leader of a generation. Trend setter. Influencer.”

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But yes really, I’m back at this blogging thing.

A former professor of mine has a blog called Mamability (best name right?), and she recently wrote a blog referencing a blog I wrote five years ago about planning my outfits in advance. Yes, I still do that.

You might think it’s crazy that I’m over here still outfit planning. Or you might think I’m crazy because I’m Matrix blogging about a blog referencing a blog. Or you might think I’m crazy because I am. But you want to know what I thought was was crazy? Five years has gone by since I wrote that blog.

I started this blog as a consolation prize to not getting accepted into the sociology PhD program at CU Boulder. I thought, “Hmmm, what could offer as much validation as a PhD from an esteemed program? A self-created WordPress blog. Perfect.”

No? All my academic friends are dropping F bombs at me and vowing to never speak to me again. Sorry, I know. I know it’s not even in the same universe as being close to the same.

I was just bummed about the rejection and thought this would be a way to still get my thoughts out there…albeit not in a peer reviewed, based on theory, publishable, reputable way or anything.

So I wrote about restaurants and books and my little life hacks and then stopped. I was writing my book, The Forgotten Manuscript, (more on that soon), and thought, “My monumental writing talent simply cannot be squandered on a measly blog. I’m writing the next GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL over here.”

I finished a really, really shitty first draft of that.

Oh wow, last week? So now you’re back blogging?

Mmmmm nope. That was four years ago.

So your novel is done and published, right?

That will be another nope.*

*Isn’t this dialogue that I’m assuming you’re saying and my responses clever and fun?!

I went to grad school full time and worked full time. I could be self-effacing about that, but I won’t. That was really hard. I had very little time for things like joy or the outside or friends who weren’t in my program (hiiii cohorties, you might be the only four people reading this…well besides my mom, hi Mom).

I felt fully used up at the end of every day and not in a good way. I mean who in satan’s cabinet invented the quarter system? Constant papers on top of the looming thesis. Rifts with professors who don’t think the gender pay gap is a thing. Monetizing a child’s life for a cost-benefit analysis.

Those of you remembering I just said I started this blog because I didn’t get into a PhD program and you did or your friend’s cousin did so you totes know the struggle and you’re laughing at me thinking my pity party over two years is cute and I would have absolutely floundered in a PhD program, I hear you.

Or if any of you went to law school and you know that two years would have been much easier than your miserable three, noted. I know I’m insufferable about those two years. I cannot imagine feeling that feeling for one second more than I did, three or seven years or however long. Praise.

Ok, but I survived, I mean graduated. And I have this newish job at SE2 which is awesome and busy and all of that. But it’s not the same as going to school full time and working full time. So I can write again!

Hey girl, but what about that Great American Novel you never finished? Is this just a way to feel like you’re writing and procrastinate on that til you die?

Excellent question, my imagined friend having helpful, not hurtful at all dialogue with me.

My published, brilliant writer friend, Meg, once told me writing is like a muscle. The more you do it, the more you strengthen it.

I’m not saying go to grad school and write a thesis and a blog and a novel. I mean if you do, more power to you, but I will probably really not like you out of jealousy of your work ethic and lack of need for sleep. That’s like doing crossfit and triathlon training and bodybuilding competitions and trying to beat Michael Phelps’ records all at that same time. It’s overkill. Your mushy torn-up muscles, they hate you. They don’t perform well.

As you can see, I am very skilled at getting to the point.

TLDR version: I’m excited to get back into blogging and editing/rewriting/finishing/publishing my novel. Imma work this writing muscle but not overwork it to the point of collapse.

And for those of you who didn’t know/care I started this blog five years ago or didn’t even know my life but now feel like you know way too much about it, heeeeyyy! Welcome. I totally know you’re sticking around. Glad to have you.

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